the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
