just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
