4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
