I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
