apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
