I seem to have left my pride at pride
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
