He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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