She's JV to your varsity
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
