Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
