Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
