Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Are we still banned from the library?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
