you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
