did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
