Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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