margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
