Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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