Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
