I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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