I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
