wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
