we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
