I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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