you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is the high leading the old right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
