Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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