One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
