Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
