...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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