dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
