Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
