I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
