Too much gin, very little bucket
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
