Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
