...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize