i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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