Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
