mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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