Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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