did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize