wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
