mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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