Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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