i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
