He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
