Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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