i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
