you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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