She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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