shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
3 2 1 whiskey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize