i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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