if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to be your penis for a week.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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