YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
