he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it was like eating out sand paper
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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