TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize