i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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