Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
