And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize