garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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